What Mothers Really Want
May 6th, 2009 Posted in encouragement, family
With Mother’s Day coming up this weekend, I asked my wife Cathe if she would write down her thoughts for the blog.
What Mothers Really Want
What I want for Mother’s Day this year really isn’t much. In my opinion, the flowers fade, the perfume evaporates into the air, that new dress eventually ends up on a rack at the Salvation Army store, and you may miss out on what moms actually want.
I don’t think I’m alone in thinking the day has been hijacked by card companies, florists, and restaurants. But don’t let them pressure you into spending more than you can afford on a superficial trinket.
Here are three gifts that I think will not be forgotten:
1. A card with a handwritten note.
Not a cheesy rhyme on a pre-written card. Rather, a card, (handmade ones are the best) that says something specific and personal about why you are thankful for your mom.
One of my favorite cards I ever received was from my youngest son Jonathan. Christopher, older by 11 years and very artistic, gave me some amazing cards over the years. His cards would feature clever images and designs that were uniquely his own, and I loved and treasure every one.
But one Mother’s Day, when Jonathan was just a little boy, I opened a card that melted my heart and it still does every time I look at it. In big wobbly block letters, he printed:
HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY, MOM.
I KNOW MY CARD ISN’T AS GOOD AS TOPHER’S, BUT I TRIED JUST AS HARD.
I LOVE YOU, JONATHAN.
Priceless!
2. A long hug.
I mean it. A long hug. Let us be the one to let go first! I want to feel your heart on mine.
My mother is a great hugger and kisser. She never entered the room without greeting us with a big hug and kiss that felt as if she was trying to inhale part of us into her.
I love hugs like that. Both of our boys are great huggers and it is one of my greatest joys this side of heaven.
3. Verbalize your love.
Look her in the eyes, let them linger a moment, then smile and say, “I love you. Thank you for being my mom.”
These are some thoughts that I hope you will find helpful as you think about the perfect gift for your mothers.
And finally, some advice for moms on Mother’s Day.
If you get a Mother’s Day card from your child, I encourage you to cherish it. Save it and keep it safe where you can find it later, years later, to read. They will especially come in handy during those teen years, when you may love them but frankly you find there is more friction than when they are younger.
In a lifetime of mothering, you may end up with a box full of cards, but nothing is a greater validation of what you have accomplished with your life.
If you get a hug, wrap your arms around them and don’t let go until they do, and then hold them a bit longer. And if you don’t get a hug from them, hug them anyway.
I remember hugging my teenage Topher and saying, “I know you may not like me very much right now, but I will never stop loving you!” Years later, he thanked me for those very words and hugs.
If you can hear their voice say, “I love you,” listen with your heart and let it sink in.
So can I, on behalf of all the mothers out there, tell all of you that it is the greatest privilege in the world to be a mom? We may sigh and groan and cry at times, but nothing—no high-paying job or celebrated career—can ever pay what we receive in the long run.
“Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised” (Proverbs 31:30).
Happy Mother’s Day!
Amen, Cathe!
Spot on.
Happy Mother’s Day.
Cathe,
Today, many celebrate the very fact that they are privileged to be a mom. I hope that every mom understands what a blessing and privilege it really is. There are many women who know the pain of not having any children for whatever circumstances or reasons. My prayer today is for those who have children to truly know their blessing, and for those who do not but desire to, to hope in God!
Paula Plucknette
My boy is a teenager now, my only child. He is good-hearted, but needs to be reminded to make me feel loved and appreciated on this day. I wish my husband would be a good example and motivate him, but looks like it is not going to happen anytime soon. One flower would do, or a piece of chocolate will make me happy.
What makes my day special are my fellow mothers’ greetings.
Cathe, I just wanted to say thank you. Like you, I just faced my first mother’s day with my son in Heaven. I had asked my daughter to not do anything for the day, so she said, “Momma, I’m doing what you ask. I want you to know I love you and then she told me about how she and her brother Jonathan had worked together to make my Mother’s Day card last year. (I carry that card with me every where I go).
Cathe, I hadn’t forgot about my mother. I just didn’t want to deal with the day and I know that she is still grieving her grandson. I had spent yesterday morning in Jonathan’s room. I love reading his poems and songs in his own handwriting and looking at his artwork. Some of those things I might never have had the priviledge to read if he hadn’t gone to Heaven. So, for my mother I shared one of Jonathan’s songs with her. It was truly the best I had to give.
Cathe, I can’t thank you and Greg enough for walking with us and sharing your journey. If we never meet on this side of eternity, I’ll count on our sons to introduce us in Heaven because, as we say in the South, I just want to hug your neck.
Lisa McCallister
Hello Cathe,
Just a quick note to tell you thank you for your words of wisdom. I take them to heart. One thing stuck out that I will be more aware of on a daily basis. You said that whenever your mother would walk into the room, she would greet you with a great hug and would make you feel like she was inhaling part of you. I am going to hug my son more. We have a 17-year-old and he is very loving and a good boy and the apple of my eye, but our lives are so busy and rushed these days that I don’t hug him enough.
Thank you and God Bless you for sharing on this most tender subject, I will continue to pray for you.
Michele Campos