An interview about my son Christopher’s passing
July 22nd, 2009 Posted in Harvest Crusades, Pastor's corner, encouragement, family, stellaHey everyone.
As you may know, this Friday, July 24, will mark the one-year anniversary of the passing of our firstborn son, Christopher, to heaven. I appreciate all of your prayers, and I plan on writing about this in a day or so.
Here is an interview that my son Jonathan and I recently did with Dan Wooding of the ASSIST News Service. It sums up where we are at during at this time in our lives.
The agony and joy of Greg Laurie
He talks about the tragic death of his son Christopher; his younger son, Jonathan, shares movingly about how he recommitted his life to Christ because of the death of his brother.
By Dan Wooding
Founder of ASSIST Ministries
SANTA ANA, CA (ANS) — Thursday, July 24, 2008 was the most devastating day of Greg Laurie’s life. The unimaginable happened when his son Christopher, 33, was killed in a tragic car accident on the 91 freeway on his way to work as art director of Harvest Christian Fellowship in Riverside, California, where Greg is the senior pastor.
Now, almost a year from the tragedy, Greg Laurie agreed to talk about his heartbreak and his younger son, Jonathan Laurie, revealed how the car accident that took his brother transformed his life – for good!
Both father and son came into the studios of Southern California’s KWVE 107.9 FM to talk with me for my Front Page Radio program.
I began by asking Greg to relive that terrible moment when he found out about the accident.
“It’s been almost a year now, Dan, and it was the most devastating experience of my life,” he said. “In fact, of all the bad experiences I’ve had — and I’ve had a few – none came even come close to what this was like. It’s the news no parent ever wants to hear you never expect to hear it.”
How did he first hear about the accident?
Greg said, “It was really strange the way I found out. My wife was leading a Bible study for Christopher’s wife Brittany and her mom. I was babysitting my granddaughter Stella. Brittany mentioned that she’d called Christopher and he’d not responded. Then I got a call from the church. They were asking, ‘Where’s Christopher?’
“So I called him and he didn’t answer; I then sent a text to him saying, ‘Where are you?’ Again, he didn’t answer. Then, from that point on, we started making calls to try and find out where he had gone. After about 45 minutes, we knew something was not right, we didn’t know what.
“Obviously we were praying; we were concerned and worried. Then, Don McClure, a pastor friend, showed up at my house and said, ‘Christopher’s been in an accident.” But he wouldn’t tell me the extent of it. I was told that some of the pastors from our church were going to come and talk to me. At this point I knew it was bad, but I was still hoping that it was not fatal.”
Greg said that when the pastors from his church arrived, one of them told him, “Christopher is with the Lord!”
Greg closed his eyes and told me, “When I heard that, it was like time stood still and the air was sucked out of the room. I couldn’t comprehend what I had just heard, and it really was, in many ways, incomprehensible. It was so hard.
“I have to say that although it was devastating and crushing, and I fell to the ground weeping, the Lord was there with me. I sensed His presence and His peace and I have never, for a moment, doubted that Christopher’s in heaven.”
I then asked Greg how his wife Cathe responded to the shocking news.
“She wept and she may have screamed. I don’t remember,” he said. “Brittany was crying also, as we all got the news at the same time. We were all crying. But we were also praying at the same time, saying things like, ‘Oh Lord, we look to you. We call on you.’”
Greg went on to say, “How could anyone survive such news if they didn’t know God? I can’t imagine trying to deal with this: without one’s faith in Christ; without the presence of the Lord; without Christian friends surrounding you and praying; knowing what to say and, hopefully, knowing what not to say,” he said. “We were surrounded by some wonderful godly people that helped us through those first few moments, those first few hours and the first few days.”
I told Greg that for anyone, this was so traumatic, but because he was so well-known in Southern California and across the world, this must have made it even more difficult to cope with. I wondered if he had thought about just giving up and retreating from the world for the time being.
“Well, you know one thinks about retreating but, really, you want to be around the people you love. You want to hear their words of reassurance,” said Greg. “I was surprised at how public it was, not only in the Christian community, but it was on the front page of the local newspaper with the headline, ‘Son of evangelist killed.’ To read those words in print, though you know it’s true, and see a photograph of your son — that was really painful.
“Then people were talking about it and it was on the radio and TV news. Of course, it was an auto accident, so it was a very horrific thing.”
Greg said that despite it all, it began changing his attitude to people.
“I gained a new compassion for people who have lost children,” he said. “When a celebrity dies, everyone talks about it and people opine on it. But, I’ll tell you that every one of these people that die have a mom and a dad and they have a family. It’s devastating for them. I looked at the way some people spoke about it — so matter of factly — and I had to say to myself, ‘You know, that’s my son they’re talking about.’
“But then there were many believers that said such sweet things. My blog site was inundated with messages. I had some 15,000 messages on my blog. I, frankly, have never read all of them, but I’ve read many of them and they were very comforting to me. I still go back to them and read them and they have encouraged me along with the prayers that people offered.
“Here it is, almost a year later, and I’d like to say its all better, Dan. I feel fantastic and you know there are moments when everything aligns in my mind and my heart. I think that Christopher’s in heaven and he’s happier than he’s ever been and that I’m going to see him again. It’s glorious and I have peace and even a bit of joy. Then, five minutes later, a memory is triggered by something and the pain of missing him comes right back.
“Last night, I had dreams about him again and in them I’m having conversations with him. Usually, in my dreams, I’m with him and then he’s suddenly gone. He disappears. In one dream I had, while I was talking to him, I reached out to and he disappeared. So you can’t stop your subconscious from processing these things. It is still very painful but the Lord has been with us. We have the Lord, we have our friends, we have our faith, we have our hope for the future of reunion, we have our memories of yesterday and we have today. And today, we want to try to the best of our ability to glorify God through this and try to minister to others who are hurting.
“I’ve come into contact with many people who have lost loved ones, especially children, who’ve reached out to me. When I meet someone who’s lost a child, I stop what I’m doing and I take time for them. I listen a lot more than I used to. I used to be quicker on the draw with a verse or two. I still will share verses and encouraging words, but I’m quicker to listen and slower to speak when someone comes and tells me of their pain.”
Sitting next to his father and listening intently to the interview, was Jonathan Laurie, Christopher’s younger brother. So I asked him where he was when he first heard the news about the accident.
“I was working for a plating aerospace company in Santa Ana when my foreman came over to me and asked me how I was doing,” he recalled. “At that point, I didn’t know what had happened to Christopher, but apparently it was already going around on the channels. I didn’t have my phone with me at the time so I hadn’t heard anything. He left me alone for a few minutes with a Christian police officer friend who I knew quite well and who was a Christian man and he said, ‘You need to go home to see your parents.’ That’s when I knew something had gone wrong. When I got access to my cell phone, that’s when I began receiving text messages and phone calls. I just refrained until I got home. Actually, Don McClure, the same person informed me that told my Dad. He said that my brother ‘was with the Lord.’
“I went into shock immediately. I couldn’t comprehend it, or believe it. It took me probably an hour or so for it to really start to click — that this actually happened. It was almost like I went into a dream state. It was so surreal.”
I asked Jonathan to recall the last time he saw his brother.
“My last vivid memory of him was last Fourth of July,” he said. “We were in Montana and it was probably one of the best family vacations that I can remember.
“We were quite distant in age but, as we grew older, that gap began to close. The older I became, the closer I grew to him. We grew as friends and brothers. He was always looking out for my best interests. He kept me accountable a number of times.
“He kept his eye on me. You may think that being raised in a pastor’s home would make us instant Christians and followers of Christ. You know we always did have that faith in Jesus and we always believed in Jesus, but there was a time when I rebelled and there was a time when Christopher rebelled.
“He knew where I was at as he’d lived a similar lifestyle. He was just kind of living as a ‘prodigal son’ running from his Christianity for a short time. But we both always wanted to end up back there. It was just a matter of what it was going to take.
“Up until the time that he went home to be with the Lord, he had actually been very encouraging of me: to get my life right; to quit living this double life; to stop partying and doing all that lifestyle entails. In fact, the night before his death, I was out with friends, doing the party thing; smoking and drinking. That night I really thought about how I wanted to go see my brother the next morning and talk to him about how miserable I was. I told had him previously that I wanted to get back there and he’d asked me, ‘Well, what it is going to take?’ That next morning, I got my answer. Christopher going home to be with the Lord was my wake up call.”
Jonathan went on to say, “When I got the news at home. I just sat on my bed and looked at pictures of him. After I began to comprehend what had happened, I just began to weep. Then I went through my room and just ravaged it, grabbing all the stuff I knew that was bringing me down. I held it all in my hands, prayed to the Lord, and I said, ‘God, you know that I’ve proven to you and myself that I’m incapable of doing this on my own. I can’t stop using this stuff on my own strength so you’re going to have to help me, but I want to do this.’
“He’s been faithful to do that since I prayed that prayer and He’s been faithful to help me stay clean. I’m walking with the Lord now and I know that I honor my brother’s advice. That’s the best thing I think I can do for Christopher in heaven.”
Greg Laurie was close to tears as his son told his story.
“It is a great blessing and I have to tell you, Dan, that Jonathan has shared this testimony all over in our crusades that we’ve held in different places this last year,” said Greg. “He’s stood up in front of thousands of people and Jonathan was never that kind of a person that would want to get in front of a crowd and talk. Some people like attention but he was never that way. He was more of a quiet, soft spoken, young man. But because of this thing that has happened to him and what the Lord has done in his life, he’s gotten up boldly.
“We were just in Pennsylvania at something called the Creation Festival, a Christian event that’s been going on for over 30 years. I was speaking and I brought Jonathan out to give his testimony. He gave it before 70,000 and I’ll tell you what — those kids started listening. When he talked about the compromised life, there are just a lot of kids raised in Christian homes who know what’s right, but aren’t living it, and they’re in that miserable no man’s land.
“When one of them, like Jonathan, speaks and talks about how the Lord’s gotten a hold of him, there’s an authenticity. Not that the adults don’t have it, but they think, ‘Well, you’re an adult.’ But when it’s a fellow kid, a peer speaks, it means so much more to them.
“This is one of the good things that have come of this tragedy. There’s still a lot of pain and there’s a lot of heartache, but God promise is to work ‘all things together for good’ is true. We have seen how the Lord has brought glory to his name through Jonathan’s testimony and also through Brittany, Christopher’s wife’s testimony. We’ve all felt a greater determination to serve the Lord with even more intensity than we had before.”
“I’ve determined not to put a happy face on it, meaning I want to be real. I want to be honest. I want to be truthful about the difficulty, but I also want to be honoring to the Lord and tell people how He’s sustained us through this and how I still depend upon Him every day to make it through.”
Greg then shared the good news, that late last year, Brittany gave birth to Lucy Christopher Laurie, who joins Stella, the other daughter.
“Stella is going on to her third birthday and if a father ever doted on a daughter it was Christopher,” he said. “He was a great daddy, but he did not live to see little Lucy born, at least on earth. One wonders what people know in heaven. I think it’s entirely possible that he’s fully aware of Lucy there in heaven. But he missed the birth here on earth. She’s growing and she’s just a sweetheart, one of the happiest little babies I’ve ever seen. They’re both just sweet hearts. I love them both.”
Greg is now preparing for his latest Harvest Crusade, which have drawn nearly 3 million people to ballparks and arenas across the Southland since 1990, and will mark 20 years in Southern California with its annual evangelistic outreach at Angel Stadium of Anaheim, August 14–16.
Shortly after Christopher’s death, Greg somehow preached each night at Angel Stadium last year surrounded on stage by the designs of Christopher.
“He was the lead designer in our graphics department at Harvest and he’d done the entire campaign,” he said. “So I stood on a stage that was designed by him, surrounded by art that he’d done. Even our crusade campaign this year is sort of built off the template of what he’d designed the year before.
“When I see his art around me, it inspires me. One thing Christopher uniquely implemented in the campaign last year was an animated arrow going up to heaven. There were these little arrows constantly going up and so we kept that arrow in a lot of the design that we’ve done because it just reminds us of where Christopher is and that we are to keep ‘looking up’. As the Scripture says, ‘We are to be heavenly minded. Set your minds on things above,’ Paul says in Colossians 3, ‘not on the things of the earth.” Another way to translate that is to keep thinking heaven. I think we all need to think more about heaven because we’re all headed there as followers of Jesus.”
Pastor Greg,
I cannot tell you how much more kingdom minded I have become over this last year of listening to your messages. I actually started listening to you right after Christopher’s passing. My husband was a regular listener first and told me about your tragedy. What has astonished me the most is how you, by God’s grace, have plowed forward so fervently on your path to win the lost and do God’s will. I have known many people whose Christianity is dependent upon their circumstances. You have modeled to me that my faith in God can take me through the worst of times.
Every time we watch you preach, my husband and I pray for you, Cathe, Jonathan, Brittney, Stella, and Lucy. We love you and appreciate you… God be with you and your family! Numbers 6:24-26
Pastor Greg, Cathie, Brittney, Jonathan, Stella & Lucy,
Please know that there are so many of us that are thinking of you all and praying for you to be able to get through this milestone. And God bless you all for sharing your knowledge of God and his word with all of us. How blessed we are for that. Thank you from a grateful reader of your websites!
WOW, I am a person who listened to you and all the Calvery pastors on KWVE back in the 80′s while living in Oceanside, I miss those days I occasionally listen over the Internet and I feel at home every time I hear your voices… (Chuck, Raul, Greg, Skip, and others) Today I was listening at work in my office and heard of your loss last year on 7/24 (this is my birthday) so I will keep you any your family in prayer. Please keep preaching His word, you guys are an gift of God!
Pastor Greg & Jonathan,
what an encouraging and real testimony you shared about the loss of your son and brother. Thank you for not candy coating the reality of your pain, for that in itself brings encouragement to souls who have lost loved ones. We don’t have to pretend were not hurting when circumstances deem to be painful, but oh the comfort that can come when we find God in our pain and that is evident w/you and yours. Nothing you can manufacture, but something straight from the heart of an all loving and all knowing God.
May God continue to use you, your loss and the comfort only He can bring in such a way that many souls will be redeemed out of heavens gain.
Pastor Greg,
Thank you for once again for sharing the reality of this past year.Our family has been praying for yours all month. We just marked our Jonathan’s first year in Heaven only a few weeks ago and like you I still find myself walking in victory one moment and reduced to tears in the next. I think this is how it will be and it’s really ok.I don’t have the platform that you do , but every chance I get, I try to reach out and comfort those who are just starting out on this road that our family and yours have been on for a year now. I hear and read the things that you say publicly and know the unspeakable pain in the shadows, but I also know the incrediable peace that I had never known before, the peace that passes all understanding. I used to think that you had to have all your stuff together to be able to minister to others , now I know no one ever has it all together, and that God uses the vessels most broken in a mighty way. I have been broken before , but never like this, in this there is no other way except to trust God deeper than I ever have before. This week I weep with you, because I know how much you miss Christopher and those thoughts of what you wanted to still do together still hurt. This week I also celebrate with you that like us your son lives in the very prescence of the one who loves him more , enjoys him more, and celebrates him more than you ever could.
Greg:
Quite honestly, I’m a speaker and a writer, but I feel a loss for words.
Although we’ve been at HCF dozens of times over the last year, I have not run into you since, but if I did, I was just going to give you a hug. That’s what I did with Jonathan and Cathe.
My family and I have attended Harvest for ten years. My two oldest son’s are in their twenties, and so many times I’ve sent out to them the same question, you text to Topher, “Where are you?” When you’re in a tight knit relationship with your family, as we are, it’s a question that has been text many times over the years. Now it’s meaning is even greater to all of us all. It’s transformed into a metaphor for where we are in our walk with God. “Where are you?” It’s a very relevant question for all Christians and non-believers as well.
For me, I try and start out with this thought each day “…seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you”, which as you know, is from Matthew 6:33.
I think you are witnessing to all us in a special way by sharing your thoughts through the ASSIST News Service interview. In a nutshell, thank you, and Jonathan for “keeping it real”. It has ministered to all of us as we continue to seek the kingdom of God daily in our lives.
Blessings,
Donald
Dear Pastor Greg,
You and your family are in our prayers.
Thank you so much for your commitment to the Lord as it has brought not just myself but my 2 son’s to the Lord attending Harvest.
We are so greatful for you and your family.
In Christ
Gil and Lucy Zurita
Menifee, CA
God bless and comfort you and your family today and always! Thank you for your honesty and integrity in sharing the gospel of Christ in a real and understandable way!
Dear Greg, Cathe, Jonathan, Brittany, Stella and Lucy,
We understand the dreading anticipation of the first year anniversary after a loved ones death. When that day came in 1993 following our 19 year old daughter’s death in 1992, we both found that the anticipation was far worse than the actual day. We spent the day reading the Bible, preparing special flowers, going to the cemetery and then to the Wednesday evening service at Harvest. The message that evening was on John 14:1-4. I suppose this passage is used often at funerals, but because it was the passage we had selected for our daughters funeral I knew the Lord was speaking to us that evening and giving us the comfort we so sorely needed. The anniversary of her funeral and burial on Jan 2 came the following Sunday. Greg preached on angels that day and the first verse he had us open our bible to was Psalm 91:11. This is the verse that it on our daughters grave marker. In both instances I did not feel there was just a coincidence on the passages nor that our daughter was speaking to us, but that God was holding us up and letting us know through his word that he was with us, he was mindful of our pain and that he gave us comfort, letting us know that Johanna was present with him. We have that assurance that she is alive today with the Lord as she had accepted the Lord as her savior. The pain has been tremendous as you all know but we are not suffering as those who have no hope. Although we miss our daughter everyday, we are no longer entrapped by the aching grief and sorrow. We pray that the Lord brings you all to this place of his ever present comfort and peace. Our loss is different for us, as yours is for each of you, yet what we share is the peace and assurance of heaven and that we will see our beloved soon. To God be the Glory!
In Him,
Dennis and Linda Kirby
Dear Greg and family:
I have been so touched by the recent passing of your son,Christopher. I can’t even imagine the pain. I have two sons as well.They are married and I have 4 granddaughters. The thought of losing a child seems unbearable. I have always cherished my time with my family, but your loss made me more aware of how are lives are totally in God’s hands. We should cherish every moment. Also I pray for my oldest son that his priority will be to go to church with his daughters. I pray for your family and will continue to do so. I listen to your radio broadcast every day on my way to work and have quite a collection of C.D’s that I always give my kids to listen to. God bless you and your family and thank you for your ministry.
pastor greg & family… i was sitting next to my Brother when we got told my nephew, his Son, had died… the deepest anguish ever felt by a Human Being is that of losing a child.. for a non-believer the road is devastating, for a Believer it is devastating, but we can run to our Heavenly Daddy when the pain rushes over us…
Hugs to you all…Mary M.
last year, on july 24th, we were celebrating my twin girls’ 2nd birthday & many of the guests were late due to the 91 being closed…so we will always be reminded of your son on this day. even yesterday as we celebrated our girls’ turning 3, we stopped & remembered your son, who entered into eternity one year ago. as your son celebrates his heavenly birthday, we celebrate the birth of our girls, thanking Jesus for the blessed assurance of heaven & the gift of His son! thank you for continuing to share your story…we continue to pray for you & your family..for God’s protection, peace & grace. your testimony is a tough one to swallow, but it has touched so many lives, including mine! shine on, christopher! shine on!
Thank You Pastor
I just want to let you know that your family’s story and faith through this is keeping me going. I’ve bought several copies of your book “Hope for Hurting Hearts” and given them to people in the same situation, and have read it several times myself. I’m hanging on the “Heaven down instead of earth up” vision. And I’m anxious to share that with everyone I meet! As you say, God can turn something bad into something good, and like Jonathan, I’ve completely recommitted by life to the Lord since my friend’s accident. Know that I thank God for every remembrance of you……
Your crusades, radio broadcasts and devotionals have touched so many lives because you have been obedient to God. In the most painful moments of your life you have remained obedient to His calling.
No matter the critics, as you continue in your walk and obedience to God’s calling on your life, He will bring it to pass.
God says; “My word that goes forth out of my mouth shall not return void but will accomplish what I please.”
Thank you Pastor Greg for preaching that word.
I have lost 2 sons and a husband and two grandchildren miscarried. I have one son living of my 3. One died at birth and my husband took his life just months after coming to Christ and failing at rehab. My 21 year old son shot himself ten months later. He had served in missions and loved the Lord passionately and I don’t know the whys of it yet 8 years later.
I have been a believer since 1975 so it rocked my world and because the latter two were suicides and even the birth defect, people looked at me much as Job’s friends did, what was I doing wrong. I do not have that flawless testimony. I was rocked and shaken as never before but God wooed me back. I am stronger today than ever and thank the Lord for his Mercy~Compassion~Messages of Trusting that he has them. I have also learned a different way to minister to others in their grief. Thank you for the message of your experiences in this. It is helpful to know for those going through it and hopeful as well. juanita
Mr. Laurie, I have been listening to you for the last 6 months. I had no idea that I would need to hear the things you were saying. But, this friday, some dear friends of mine are buryin their first born son, who also died in a car accident. He was 20. Your honesty and openness on your grief and what helped and what didn’t help you get through this time, has helped me in trying to comfort my friends. I am so sorry for your loss. Even though this is not how you would want to be known, you are providing a wonderful ministry, and God is making good come out of this tragedy. I pray that God is comforting you and blessing you with His spirit.
My prayers go out to you and your family. I also know the pain of losing a child. Even though mine was a newborn and I didn’t have the many years you had with your beloved Christopher I loved my Adam with all my heart. As I grieved following my loss I received a wonderful booklet that was written my Dr. J.Vernon Mcgee titled Death of a Little Child. It was a wonderful gift that helped to not turn away from Our Lord.
You might consider this booklet when you share with parents that have lost a child.
Dear Greg,
On Tuesday, my husband and I will have been married 25 years. During this time, we have become Christians together, had two children together, endured a separation, and gotten back together and had another child. All three children were boys, Danny, David, and Dallas. In 1994, when Dallas was 2, we learned that he had a cancerous brain tumor. He passed six months later. I know that he is alive and with God. That was 14 years ago. I remember spending the next 8 months setting by his grave and reading the Bible, just asking God, you show me what page to read. Even though this was probably the worst time in my life, I never felt so close to God setting by myself reading the Good News. Of course, we went through the period of asking those questions of “Why my child?”. It seems I guess, that I see how mothers and fathers react differently to this type of situation, (losing a child).
I looked at my other two children after finding out this news, and told my self that “I can’t fall apart, I have a 4 and 6 year old to take care of also”, let alone having a full-time teaching job.
Anyway, after listening to you and having all three children dedicated by you, I realized that the best thing to do, is to keep my promises as a Christian to teach my other two children about the Bible. It was so very hard on them also. Although, being so young at the time, they didn’t really understand what was going on. Now they are 22 and 21 years old. They are both working and going to college full-time. I am so very proud of them. It seems there wasn’t a day in the last 14 years that I didn’t think about what Dallas would look like at a certain age, or if he was interested in sports like his brothers were. All I know now that he is helping the Lord build those rooms for the rest of us.
I really appreciate your sermons on “Heaven” these past few weeks. It seems easier to take although we might not agree with what has happened. Knowing that I will see Dallas again, seems to ease my pain to where I can take my eyes off of my own needs to try to listen to others and what they need. Each year since, I have told my parents at Back-to-School night about losing a child, so they don’t think that I wouldn’t understand any problems that they might be having with anything if they chose to talk to me.
Thank You Greg for doing what you do. It helps me tremendously,
God Bless,
Debbie
My 20 year old son was killed on October 2, 2009 – today is November 18 and I am having such a hard time dealing with this. it hurts so much. I am a Christian and my son accepted Christ as his Lord and Savior earlier this year. He came back home in July and though he slipped back into his old ways the few weeks before he died he was excited to be doing the right thing, going to his programs, taking care of his two children and starting a new job. Our relationship was going back to normal and then he died. I have two other children (23 & 13) but this is so hard. I feel so weak, I just want to disappear, I cry to God all the time even if outside I look fine. I tremble while I work, I zone out. I just don’t know who I can live like this. I search the internet and bible and other sources for anything that will give me hope and yet I still hurt so much.