Missing Christopher
July 24th, 2010 Posted in Pastor's corner, familyJuly 24 is a date that marks time for me now. For it was on July 24, 2008, that my firstborn son, Christopher David Laurie, left this world at the age of 33.
Yes, it has been two years since he died. Two long years since I last saw his face and heard his voice. It seems like yesterday that he was here. Then again, it seems like forever since I last saw him.
I miss him so, so much
At first, people would approach with often clumsy attempts at offering sympathy. Other times, they would say just the right thing.
But after two years,very few people say anything at all. Only a handful. Perhaps they don’t know what to say.
Many will ask how a grieving person is doing. Are they over it yet? May I answer for all people who have lost loved ones, especially children?
No. We never will be “over it,” so please don’t ask that, if you please.
Some well-meaning but misguided Christians might say, “Don’t be sad. They are in heaven!” You must have never lost a loved if you say something like that. We know they are in heaven, and frankly, we want them here with us on Earth. So, we are sad.
When the apostle Paul’s friend and fellow worker Epaphroditus fell gravely ill, Paul wrote in a letter: “Indeed he was ill, and almost died. But God had mercy on him, and not on him only but also on me, to spare me sorrow upon sorrow” (Philippians 2:27 NIV).
So even Paul, who certainly had a strong faith and his theology straight, could hardly bear the thought of being separated from a close friend by death.
Are we getting through it?
The answer to that question is yes. Some days are better than others.
The most random things can trigger vivid memories that we did not even know were stored in the vaults of our imaginations. But like little home movies, they play out, and it both comforts and saddens.
But the thing we cannot do is forget. Nor do we want to,even if remembering causes pain.
Yes, our pain is deep, but know this: God is deeper still. He has kept His promises to me and my family. He has been there for us each step of the way, though it has been so very hard.
So we do not sorrow as those who have no hope. But we do sorrow. And we will continue to shed many tears. That’s because our love continues on for that person that has left us.
Yes, I am two years removed from the last time I saw Christopher. But I am also two years closer to when I will see him again.
This is my blessed hope. It is the hope of all of use who have had loved ones precede us to heaven.
Pastor Greg,
I am sorry for your loss and the loss to Cathe, Jonathan, Brittany, Stella and Lucy. You are in my prayers.
God Bless
Diana
Pastor Greg I know how we, as Christians, are expected to be more understanding of what God gives us and to be mindful and faithful to his word. But agree with you that even though we know our loved ones are in heaven awaiting us and what better place to be we are still here on earth and we do miss them. My mother passed 01/04 and my father 12/05. They we the cutest couple and I became very close to them as I cared for them. When God took them to be with him I was confused as to how to feel. I knew they were in a better place. When I accepted the Lord in 11/07 I thought that to cry or to pray for them was wrong. I held lots in. When my daughter gave me the news about Christopher I pulled over and wept. Your coming in that Sunday inspired me and all of your sermons since have helped me in life challenges and trials God bless you and yours Pastor Greg and I feel that it is ok to mourn and miss, May God continue to give you strength and comfort today and every day.
I understand grief 33 years ago my grandfather and uncle were killed by a knife wielding neighbor. Who was out of jail by a mistake great system we have. An last year on July 29th i lost my Dad. So i can say i understand your pain to a point. May God Bless you on this day an your beautiful family. I listen to you via the computer an radio. I live in Northern Ca. but my hometown used to be Pasadena, Ca. Would love to come an hear you in person someday. Maybe you will hold a crusade in Sac. again.
Your blog and tweets are heart-felt and very encouraging. You are a real pastor and shepherd to people everywhwere. Thanks for being real and sharing real moments in your family’s life. It helps people know God really is with us every moment of life!
I liked what one lady already commented, so I’m “amening” it here. God bless you and family richly!
“May you find a “green pasture” to recline in with Jesus this weekend. Cry with Him, remember with Him, rejoice with Him.”
Pastor Greg,
My sister-in-law just lost her firstborn son on July 15. He was 25 years old and it was sudden and tragic. She doesn’t know the Lord, but we were so comforted to find out that Richard, our nephew, recently accepted the gift of Jesus not long before he died.
I heard that your message on Sunday night at the Crusade will be on Loss and grieving.
You are right, we don’t know what to say to our sister and I have no idea if it is just too fresh to invite her to hear your message. Is she angry with God right now?
I will keep praying that God comfort you and your family and give us guidance as to what the best thing to do is.
God Bless you and thank you for all you do for all believers.
Dear Greg,
Thank you for sharing your feelings. Somehow it comforts us who mourn with you to hear your heart. As often as you want to share, we are here to listen and to help carry your burden and loss, if only in prayer…
Love,
The Goetz’s
Dear Greg,
Thanks so much for sharing you heart! It comforts those of us who have lost loved ones and feel awkward about bringing it up with others when we’re feeling sad about it. Your pain of the past two years reminds me again that God has not forgotten how we feel.
Also thank you for your sermons. My friends & I have been listening to them on Sunday mornings for a number of years while we are serving the Lord overseas!
Blessings,
Lori
My thoughts & prayers are with you and your family, not only today but often! Thank you for being my Pastor and teacher.
I have never lost a child. I have a dear friend that lost her daughter less then one year ago due to illness. I hurt for her so much and I miss Jenny very much. I am so in aw of my friends strength to go on and also in yours and your wife’s. I love you guys and I know God is with all of us in our time of need. I also want to say Thank you for the many things you do to bring the word of God and his teaching to us and non-believers. I thank you again
July 24, 2010 is two (2) years since The LORD has decided to “restructure” the foundation of a family. Two years since our Heavenly Father has decided that through a 33 yr old gentleman – Christopher Laurie – we, as well as Christopher’s family & friends, will derive our strength, rely upon and draw ever closer to The LORD our GOD. I learned of the multi-life changing incident on Sun July 27, 2008, when the Pastor of Revival Christian Fellowship in Menifee, Ca – shared with us the news that sooo many of us could use, if we only choose Christ.
Christopher’s story resonates within me because The LORD chose to spare my life from a tragic car wreck. I was a believer for many years prior to my car wreck @ 36 yrs old. Being in the hospital for six months provided an awesome opportunity for witnessing, fellowshipping and ministry. It appears that many came to CHRIST after witnessing the miracles CHRIST had performed in my life.
Though few of our last names are Laurie, there’s a special message, and no shortage of lessons to be learned from Christopher being in the presence of GOD, at this time. For me, I could start with GOD’s Grace, his Love, and his Mercy; for he has given my family an abundance of all three, and more.
Praise You Father GOD
…and may You continue to shed Your Grace upon The Laurie Family and all those who have chosen Your Son, Jesus Christ, to be their personal LORD and Savior. Amen, Amen, and Amen.
Dear Pastor Greg,
I am a believer, lover of Jesus, and also a psychologist. I thank you so very much for your openness and honesty about your feelings and thoughts as you continue to deeply grieve Christopher’s absence from your life here on earth. The Lord is using you in a powerful way to help other believers know that grieving is not a sign of a lack of faith at all! I am thanking God and you for this much needed gift of truth for the Body. — I am so very, very sorry you and your family are having to go through this. I am praying for the Lord to continue to comfort you in your pain.
Pastor Greg, To be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord. So let’s rejoice in that. We wish we could all be up there with the Lord now, but unfortunately, we are still stuck here in this declining world. Blessed are those who are already face to face with our Lord having a block party everyday in heaven! This is when we show our faith in Him, when we show no worries because our loved ones are in good hands. God bless you Pastor, you are an awesome servant of the Lord.
It’s been 17 months since I lost my youngest son. I’m not as far as you I’m still angry. Some days are better then others. Instead of running to God I am running from God.I’ve lost 70 pounds since my son died.What you said touched my heart. I understand your pain.I encounter the same things. I will thank my friend Ruth for sending this to me. God Bless you and keep you
Dear Pastor Greg:
I have been listening to you for about 10 years. Because of your teaching technique, I feel as though I know you … but far from it. I struggle with keeping in God’s will … and your Bible study keeps me as close as I can become.
My heart bleeds for you with the anniversay of your sons death – I pray that God will keep you & your family close to His heart. I know he does. May God richless bless you & your family until that day when you can be reassociated with your son.
God’s Blessings,
Mark
Thanks Greg. I lost my wife in March to a brutal cancer battle and your words are right on for me. The faith that my three teens and I share is leading us forward. Jim
Thank you for sharing Pastor Greg….we lost our 21 yr old daughter in 2001 in a tragic car accident. She left behind a precious 3 yr old son whom we enjoy immensely. We feel exactly as you do…..”don’t expect us to get over it….life will never be the same”…but God has been merciful & gracious, and given us everything we need to move on…looking forward to spending eternity with her. God bless you and every parent who has ever lost a child (and to all who have ever lost anyone)
We love you pastor we pray for you an your family every time we think of you all Britney an girls ..we love an appreciate everything you do ,you are a part of our everyday life with you website radio an church we thank God for you all,an are so so sorry for your loss,,please continue to be the father ,grandpa ,husband an dad you are,they all need you ,an so dose your church.I can’t help but think of the responsabillity you have as you have went through the worst thing that could happen to someone in such a public way.you have done a wonderful job here on earth I can not imagine the rewards that awaite you.we love you in Christ and are very proud you are our pastor God Bless you an keep you thank you again for all you do.it is truely appreciated.
dear pastor Greg,you and your family are always in my prayer.!! Thank you for being such blessings to me.!! Trusting In Him,jolee
Pastor Greg
My Thouights and Prayers are with you and your family at this very sad time.
From all I have heard Christopher was much loved by you, your family and Harvest Christian Fellowship people whether they be your felow Pastor or those who gathered at your Church.
We are One in Christ
Jason.
Dear Pastor Greg,
My heart breaks for you. . . I have not felt your loss personally and to tell you the truth as a mother of two young adults I cannot even imagine the depth of pain….. My best girl friend Jeanne also lost her son in July 2008. Grant was 13 when he was struck and killed in a cross walk just a week before Christopher. . . You are dear to me as you led me to the Lord way back in the Rain Cross Square days and your reflections on ways to help those grieving have helped me be there for my Jeanne……I know that I do not know how she feels so I just try to ‘be there’ words fall short, so I just listen. Thank you for reminding me to talk about Grant and my great memories of him. . . Thank you again, Colleen Rose
Dear Pastor Laurie,
I’ve never lost a child, but my first born son, was dx with cancer when he was 14, knowing we could of lost him and seeing him suffer through a yr of aggresive treatments was so hard. My point is, my heart has hurt so for you and your family since Christopher’s passing. Whenever I hear your sermons, or your name mentioned I never fail to think of your son and his family. He is not forgotten. May your strong faith in the Lord continue to comfort you and your family.
I recently returned from visiting my cousin who lost her 25 year old son, 7 years ago. During our heart to heart talks, I found myself sharing so much of what I have heard you say in regards to the loss of your own son. So many people can relate to your sorrow and have been comforted by your words. Even though it is the saddest thing that could ever happen, God is using it for good. We trust Him even when we don’t understand.
I am so sorry for your loss and can’t imagine the sorrow you feel. You are in my prayers as the Lord brings you and your family to mind.
I enjoy your daily devotions and your writing style; I buy many of your books when they come out. I bought your book “Hope for a Hurting Heart” at the end of last summer 2009. I tucked it away with full intent to read it in the winter. My sister and her daughter had just moved from WA state to TX at the end of July to live closer to me and my family and for better job opportunities (my sister is a teacher). All was going great! Then, only 3 months after moving to TX (on November 8), my sister’s daughter, her only child, was killed in a car accident. Brittney was 17 (a month from turning 18).
I gave “Hope for a Hurting Heart” to my sister on November 10 as she boarded a flight back to WA to move back. I felt God had prompted me to buy your book just months before Brittney’s death knowing my sister was going to be going through a lot in the months/years ahead. God knew my sister would need hope from someone who know’s the pain first hand.
Thank you for serving the Lord as you do; He is reaching the broken hearted through your ministry. Christopher is smiling big and cheering you on, Pastor Greg!
God bless you and your family always~
Teri
Thank you for your honesty. My husband is in Heaven. Miss him terribly.